Room alone

:I

How I wish I could be better...

Ishhh!!

:(

Dreams

That's the end, I guess.

That's the end of waiting. I've totally stop putting on hope for studying in goverment university.

And now I have finally made a decision to study in UTAR.

It was my least favorite choice. But now suddenly I'm so looking forward to it.

Next month, I will be in Kampar, studying smth that is totally new for me - Psychology.

That's a new beginning eh?

It's the sign of the dream - I have been told!

I dream about teeth falling out from my month few weeks ago, I felt curious and when to searched for the meaning of the dream. One of it which says that there will be changes occur in my life, or I am going to embark on my future.

True enough.

All the best for myself yay. :)

Anger and emotional

Listening to EMOtional songs urge me to write an emotional blog post.

My life can't get any more miserable then I am currently. Yes I'm still, as usual, engaged in the status of unemployed, un-getting-any-offer-from-any-uni.

Few friends of mine have got to check their e-rayuan result today. As I know, there are two of them and both of them did not accept the offer as they are studying in private Uni now.

Guess its hard for them to give up the good but expensive private uni for cheap and still cheap local uni huh.

The Goverment has chosen their people. The entire system is not fair. The education system, the pipeline system, u name it.

Come on, Bad lucks, is that all you have on me?

What ever it is, bring it on

I

AM

NOT

AFRAID

OF

YOU

!

Looking back at 2011-what did I missed

Finally I have the courage to

write a new post for my blog, my long abandoned secret garden.

Well I guess there are no secrets on the internet at all.

I do come back to visit my blog ocasionally without leaving any trace of mark. Simply just to read on the old post, looking back at how my life was in the past few years...

After STPM i started working in my youngest aunty's company office - PPG Coatings Sdn, Bhd. as a Customer Service Assistant.All I need to do was filing, taking orders, keying orders into the system, checking on stocks and issue MTO forms.

In that period I actually get the chance to experience how is it feel like to work in office, the softwares that are used, the job flow in an office, the departments and their funtions in a company and the professional language that is being used in email. (I cant use the broken english that I use in the internet when writing email to other colleagues, these email are OFFICIAL and might be printed out to keep as a copy for future reference. This is how we push the responsibility to each other. :)

I am not an organised person, looking back on my study table, my homeworks. Its clear that I do not have any sense of organizing things to ease my studies. I did not follow any timetable to study, I did not prioritize the homeworks that are most important/urgent to hand in, I did whatever according to my mood sometimes. I procrastinate and give myself tonnes of excuses just to let myself less guilty for my mistakes. I am a terribly messy person.

As expected, these bad habits were brought to the working life in the second contract in Kraft Malaysia Sdn.Bhd. I was a HR admin assistant in that company which I enjoyed working a lot more than the previous one as I was given more workloads and held more responsibility.

But that's where the problem arose, I hardly organize/manage my job properly.

I did things that can be completed in the shortest time first, then only do those things that were time consuming and required more effort to complete at last, although they are more urgent.

Yes I did get quite a number of compliment from people who I helped, mostly because of my so-called effectiveness and great follow-ups. But they wouldn't know the reason behind is because I was too lazy to start off those heavier job.

At the end I still did not manage to complete what was given to me - the heavy ones,

although I worked one extra day on saturday, which I claimed 1.5x OT pay rate, and I even secretly sent some documents which mostly P&C to my own email account so that I could work at home at night and saturday and sunday, job are still left unfinished until the day I leaf.

Hopefully the person who is going to take over my job don't curse me so much. I have already tried my best to finish any unfinished job on my hand (except for the heavy one).

Its 4.49am and I am still awake. Just recovered from 2 days fever and dizziness in my head.

Guess my body will soon use to my night owl life again.

So soon tomorrow will be mid-autumn festival.

ITZTIME2PLAY!!!

Ughh...my sotong ball cheek!!

Picture taken on 11 Sept 2011, on the way to fetch 二舅 and his family to go makan!!

The truth that you leave

I will never forget...

The way i used to warm my own ice-cold fingers with your hand

The way you held me

The way you stared into my eyes

And the way you leave me.

Maybe it's the silence of the night that reminds me of you,

just like those nights where I waited for your call.

Or it could be just a flashback of my life, before I really move on to a new one

Maybe I'm just being emotional.

Farewell, boy.

纵然心痛,但却也无可奈何.

Spot the similarities

between...

The Mashimaro and,

An A Bruzzy Gel.

Mum: where is the......the......what you call?......the mashimaro?

Me: Huh? What mashimaro?

Mum: Neh~the one you apply on your bruises.

Me: =='' You mean " A-bruzzy" ?

Mum: Yea.

Merry Christmas!

This Christmas, I...

1) Heard the tale of "The Gingerbread Man"

2) Watched snow (bubbles) falling from the sky (ceiling).

3)Did one thing I never dare myself to do.

4) Had lots of lots of fun =)

Ketchup~

This post has got nothing to do with ketchup, I used it because it sounds like catch-up, urm... catch up with my bloggies?! lol... random~


It's been more than a month since I posted the last post. It was before the finals.
Now, everything is over and I am now enjoying my long breaks from school and homeworks and teachers and etc..

:/

Its not THAT exciting after all.

Before the last few papers I have wrote down a list of "must-watch" movies and drama series for myself. However, I did not watch any of them.

I planned some gathering activities with friends. Unfortunately some of them cannot make it because they are working or they will start working soon.

Talk about working, I am still blur. Coz I still have some things yet to be done.
Going to NS, getting car licence... gosh!

I just lost an opportunity to work in the place I ever wanted, because of the stupid NS!
If not, I should be able to start working on January of 2011! Ishh!!

By the way... I know that things don't always turn out like what you wish it to be.
I still have probably about 6 months, or half a year 's time.

Erm... what else?

Owh, I dyed my hair using "liese bubble hair dye".
The result? Way better than what I've expected!
I read some bad reviews on the product and I did not expect much on it. However the colour turn out to be quite obvious especially under the sun or lightning.
Love it~

Thats all for now... my brain is hardly functioning these days...
Couldn't think of anything much to write, so bye.

-smashedtomatoes-

: l

Changes

I respected you...

I admired you...

I felt sorry for you...

And now,

I am afraid of you.

p/s: Something is going to happen. This feeling is scary. Where is the love?

32 days left. Oh sh*t

STPM is just a month away!

and holidays are 2 months away~ HAHA

My adrenaline rushes whenever I take a look at the calendar.

I am afraid...of what?

HappyBirthdayToYou!

:(

:)

Not again!

I am a person that can joke around with anyone and seldom get angry. In most of the situations, I will laugh together or just reply with a smile :) Because I know they do not have any bad intentions.

But not this time.

Prank messages is not FUNNY! DUDE!

Just received some messages from an unknown number, saying that HE (I assume that fellow is a guy, which you will know why later ) is my sweetheart and I am his BELOVED~ Heck!

He even know my name and which tuition I go. But god knows what is his problems that he asked me to promise to go out with him first before he tell me who he is.
When I stop replying him, he sent a few messages to me and start calling me monkey.
=='凸
I nearly sent some foul words but I wonder how if he really know me and is one of my friend? But seriously I don't think any of my friends are that IMMATURE to make such lame joke.

This is not the first time I get these type of messages from strange numbers.
Thou normally they would stop messaging me after a while I stop replying them, but my mood will get really bad the whole day and couldn't stop thinking who were they and how they got my number.

Oh well~ Going off to watch my favourite TV shows. Since now is a wonderful 2 weeks holidays and I dont think I should spend most of the time on burying myself in books.
:/

Im ready. Im ready not.

2 weeks' holiday to study for 2 weeks' exam.


ARE YOU READY?

The art of procrastination

My best friend hasn't visited me for two months, or precisely, 54 days.
If you ask me whether I miss it, certainly, Nope.

It brings a lot of trouble to me on each visit.
Mood swings, pain, tiredness, you name it.

Some of the causes are:
Pregnancy, dietary problems, too much exercise, drugs, stress, etc.

The first four are definitely out.

Firstly, I support abstinence.
Then, I am a reasonably healthy person.
At least I neither have dietary problems, nor take drugs or alcohol, nor exercise too excessively, because I do not exercise at all. Well~

How about the last one?

Everyone has stress.
Especially during the time when examination is just around the corner.
Especially for people like me who wish to get their STPM result with flying colours but had failed their test with dying colours. :(

My panic button hasn't been fully pressed. That is why I am still quite relax these days:
not studying from day to night like never before.

Maybe I procrastinate too much, until the bestie has pick up my bad habit.

Yea... this is the only reason I can figure out now.

Be strong, girl.

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.

~Henry Ford

Just another saturday

Went shopping with mum and sis at noon .
Bought a pair of shoes (finally), nail polish (new colour! :D), ate a bowl of assam laksa which doesn't taste like assam laksa, etc.

Celebrated friend's birthday at night.

Went home, chatted with mum.
Taught her some English as well.
She can't really pronounce "out", instead, she pronounces as "up" .
Both words sound just the same for her.

I came out with ideas like:

"what will you say I pinched you?"

"ouch"

"okay...now remove the "-ch" and replace with a "-t"

"up"

--''

In the end she gave up, saying that she's too old to learn now. :(
Then we chatted for some time.
She is the only one in the family whom I can chat with for that long, making lame jokes of each other like best friend, laughing on something that doesn't make sense to others like mad...

Mum, please don't go old. I rather don't grow...

fresh graduate

Congratulations to my sister who has just graduated.

This is not an end, but a beginning. :)

All the best then.

I am not a health freak

Eating junk food = makes me happy. -------(1)

Being happy = being healthy. --------------(2)

From equation (2),

Being happy = Being healthy

happy=healthy-------------(3)

Substitute equation (3) into equation (1),

Eating junk food = makes me (healthy).


p/s: That why I love maths :)

Excuse Me?!

Today I started my Math T tuition in Edusmart.
RM170 for 8 lessons, including both papers.
I do not remember the teacher's name, the only thing I can remember is almost every sentence came out from his mouth will start or end with an "excuse me".
And one thing, I have never seen a person who solves mathematics questions that FAST. :D

Next week have to pay for another tuition centre's monthly fee as well, RM116.
Blah!

Although its not my money,but i hate it when comes to asking money from my parents. :(
The feeling is like begging money from others as if I cannot afford to pay for the thing i want. Maybe for some people, parents are obligated to give children financial support, especially in education. As the first child in the family who takes tuition classes, I feel stressed.
Does that mean the more they give the higher they expect in return? The more I learn the better results should i get?

I do have certain expectations on myself. Who doesn't?

Get motivated-study-tired-procrastinate.
This process repeats almost everyday and now, it has become a part of my life.

And now what?

妈咪的冷笑话

我：咪，昨天你梦到什么哦?

咪：做么?我喊道很大声咩?

我：没有啦...好像酱咯. *示范*

咪：哦...我不记得了...那我有没有讲四个号码?

哈哈哈！！

献给您，爸。

今天是很特别的一天
生平第一次爸爸对我那么坦白
我从没想过他会对我那么说
这让我感到意外，也让我对他有些改观。。。

家里发生了令我们困扰了蛮久的一些事
眼看事情越来越不妙
爸爸终于开口了
可是该听的人却没听到

要一个男人对女人坦白并不容易
何况是一个爸爸对女儿承认自己的懦弱

爸爸给我的印象一直以来都是坚强、有责任感、固执的人
那么多年了，他始终如一
没人能真正清楚他心里怎么想
他若烦恼，只能叹叹气
他关心我们，却不曾表现出来
他感到愧疚，眼泪只能往肚里吞
他受到委屈，却一副无所谓的样子
他所做的一切一切，似乎是那么的理所当然

或许，我们不曾试着了解，或不屑去理会他的感受？

我不能说他所做的一切都是对的
但若换做是我，我又会怎样做呢？

爸
或许在往后的日子，我会对您更添一份尊敬
或许过了今晚，我对您的态度依旧
但我不会忘记您今天所说的话

与我哭花的脸。

simply complicated

1)Have problems in math.
I come online and search for extra info and hopefully can help me to understand better.

2)Typed in relative velocity.
(G search engine never disappoint me.)
=)

3)A list of results appeared.
I randomly clicked on 1, and start reading:

"...the velocity of the plane with respect to the ground is the vector sum of the plane's velocity relative to the air and the air's velocity relative to the ground...."

4)I feel like banging the wall now.


5) Nitez
Zzzz

Lethargic me

What is happening to me?

I found that recently I don't talk much.

Thou all the while I am a quite person,
now I talk even less.

And I do not feel awkward to remain silent anymore.

Tired? idk.

sick

sore throat + fever ><

After the intensive marching training under the big hot sun for n hours, my cell mediated immunity has finally been activated.

Add oil to my
Helper-T cells, Cytotoxic T cells, Macrophages, Plasma B cells, etc.

Sports day is on Friday.

Tomorrow cant skip school because have to do chemistry practical, chemistry quiz, last part of the rat dissection, and last practice for the marching formation.

:Omfg.

If I were Bella

Just came back from 1u after watching the third installment of

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse


Frankly, I prefer Jacob to Edward.
But...I'm not Bella Swan.

March!

Krib, Krib, Krib-Knan-Krib!

Check Stu dua....

"Krek"

Ouch! my knee!
Ow my muscles!
:(

Blitzz!

Currently addicting to bejeweled blitz.
A game which is simple yet fun!

Just set a new high score...yay!
And now my hand is kind of numb. ><

It is a game that makes you less guilty after you played coz' it has time limit (only 1 minute!!).
So I will keep telling myself after this game I have to go back to my homework. (after 1 min) Okay another one, (another min) okay last one... :(

Hmm... I think I had enough rest, now I shall go to

Beat my highscore!! :D

Freedom

I can only write whatever I want when this little space totally belongs to me. As in, no one get to read those things I write, get to know the way I feel.

Its not that I am not willing to share my thoughts, just that, I feel weird whenever I start writing my blog and let others to read. You know. I used to write things that people want to read, or at least, not to write things that offend them, oppose their feelings, and I don't even like to post things that will change their perception of who I am.

So, everything before this was not exactly me.

As the title of this blog, I am me.
I just want to be myself but not the way people expect me to be.
I have had enough of this kind of feeling, all the time.

That's sophisticated, and ces't la vie.

Result

Today is report card day later my dad will be going to school with me and get mine, which failed with flying colours. :)

No la actually I passed* most of the subjects. Nites!

*a few more marks above the border line, the failing line.

p/s: I can't wait to see my dad's expression, he must be glad that he have such a CLEVER daughter. I failed everything, in a way. :(

Genting

Had lots of fun there :)

Everything was like

"ARRrrrr~~~"

LOLs!

Why time has to pass so fast?!

Why why why??

I got nothing much to write about that trip, everything has been written in my memory.

It was awesome.

@@

Next time, perhaps?

p/s: I got sunburn there, and sry this blog is too random haha >:/

style

Nice web page for customizing your own blog...

-click here-

provided that you can read chinese. :)

Technical problemS

My phone rarely can connect with my computer nowadays.

I don't know what is wrong with it.

My computer is so slow and even my turtle walks faster than it.

The internet connection always breakdown.

Now is the time for me to relax a little...at least... A LITTLE!!

Man... I can't load movies(opps) with this internet speed

Some-more I cant load games...(oppsx2)

okay~ fine...

SO...

NO more transferring photos, my favorite songs, etc.

NO more movies

NO more games

Off the computer and study my as* off.

Possible?

''/

x]

Yea I wasn't there.

LOL!!

星情

每当看着天上的星星都会感觉特别感慨

那种幽幽的感觉
好像是在述说着它们的寂寞

努力绽放着微弱光芒的它们
无疑为无云的夜空
镶上了一颗一颗的钻石

让我们看到了在广阔的天空下努力生活着的我们并不孤单

曾经看见瞬间划过夜空的流星

那种偶然
只能说是幸运女神的眷顾

过后曾想碰碰运气
却也失望而归

在这被高度污染，乌烟瘴气的城市
想看到星星并不容易

所以每当无云的晚上
不如放下手头的工作
到外面好好欣赏星星的美

让自己好好沉淀
顺便反省一下
自己可以为大自然尽些什么力量
以保留这最漂亮的礼物。

Seniors and Juniors

Today, I

1) Finished the last paper in our midterm exam!

2) Orientated our juniors.

Played some games with them ;)

some of the ex-form sixer came back to tell us about their view towards form 6 life and gave some suggestions base on their experiences too.

3) Looking at those newbies reminded me the first day when I went into form 6.

Wondering what to do, trying to get know some new friends, and looking for teacher to manage our school transferring letters.... blah~

Now, I'm OLD already T.T

I've been through a lot since last year, and now is already May.

5 months away from the real exam man...

Form 6 is gonna be tough, but I am tougher,

I suppose.

sign of relief

Tomorrow will be the last paper
Maths 2 is not the subject that I have confident to do well, as always.

But still, I have to revise, then try my very best to get marks.
I don't want to repeat my mistakes like what I did for Bio. :(

Cant wait until tomorrow afternoon, that I can sleep without worries.
Nyek nyek nyek~~ X)

Determination

Happy Labour's Day :) ... to myself...

Yes...today is labour's day....which means...
April has past in a blink of an eye!!
( refer t the previous post )

I was counting down
for my midterm exam.
And now,
I have lost count
Maybe I don't wanna keep reminding myself that time is running out
and I still haven't done much on my revisions.

I dream.
But in order to make those dreams come true, I know I have to push myself.
No one can help because it is my own responsibility.
It still have a long long way to go, indeed.

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."
Well said by Sun Tzu.

I took the first single step.
The next thing is how to keep going.

Sometimes I get motivated by teachers and friends.
Sometimes I demotivate myself by questioning my own abilities.

But one thing for sure...
I won't give up,
until my heart stop pumping.

Promised?
:)

31-3-10

Bye March.

Hii April.

30-03-10

情绪失控！

很糟糕。

当时的一切是那么的理所当然。

我甚至找不到任何理由来说服自己，结果

出丑了。

好丑啊！

可能真的太压抑了

家里有压力

学校有压力

无处可逃

没人听我诉说

闷在心里真的很难受

快崩溃了

希望这一切快点过去吧！！

Tee hee~

Soon march is coming to an end.

and I just realized that I've only posted 2 posts

Should update more often then, :)

*blackout*

After a week of holidays

whats in my to-do list is:

study, study, test, study, test, exam, study,mid-term exam....

and the list goes on and on and on and on and on.....

My brain cells are dying, my eye bags are dropping.

Awakening

Its another holidays

Again...its time to do something to catch up on my studies...

owh... :(

I started my chemistry tuition since February.

Travel a long journey towards the tuition centre in KL every friday, which was the day that I can go back at 12.30pm when school ends, and start enjoying my two and a half days of break from school.

But it worth my time, instead of wasting it to sleep and do some other useless things.

At least now I have a better understanding towards those topics that have been taught by a good teacher in lower six .

I do like the way she teaches us

Her lessons was fun, and she always let us feel like it is going to be okay, don't be stressed, learn slowly...

But that was the problem to me...

Somehow...

I try to be positive.

I try not to procrastinate and sometime I fail to do so.

I thought of tiring myself to the table so that I can't go away to anything that distracted me.

I have poor self-control and I want to change myself to a better one.

All the best to myself.

Lovely day~

5-3-10

All the form sixers from Taman SEA went to lovely nursing home and a nearby child care centre located at SS3.

We sing, we dance, we we steal things sent hampers.

:)

Timeless

I online.

No matter day or night.

My pets

Feed them with a click in the pond :)

My new baby phone-SE W705 ❤

Suddenly thought if posting something about my new phone-W705

I don't realize how popular it is until I found that quite a number of my friends, cousins and even my sister thought of buying that phone too!!

Basically it is a Sony Ericsson Walkman phone with 3.2m mega pixel camera, 3G, Wi-Fi service, youtube ect.

I love it so much as it perfectly fit my requirement to a phone-stylish and glamor design, large screen, slider phone, good camera quality and most importantly-the fantastic music player!!

I'm Lovin' it! ❤

Bye bye CYN

After the short CNY break, finally its time to go back to school.

This few days I am trying to catch up whatever I've been left out in studies

After trying a few Trig questions, I found that actually that chapter isn't as difficult as I imagined. Although there are still a lot of questions yet to be solved... :,(

Maybe is after eating too much junk(food) , I am now suffering from coughing and runny-nose(as usual). Plus the stupid useless annoying mucocele hasn't cure yet...

Well I have been suffered from mucocele since the third day after I came back from a trip in December. Seems like it enjoy to live on my lips very much...==

Grrh...Can't stand it anymore...

My mom asked me whether it is pain when touched and she even suggested that I cut it off with a pair of scissors!! Ouch!!

By the way I think she was just joking with me (hope so)... x0

Today is the eighth day of CNY and a.k.a eve of 天宫诞, a very important day for Hokkiens.

Can't wait to watch fireworks to night!! Yay!!

But usually after the celebration we have to go back to school in the next morning... :(

Jia You !

Our masterpiece :)